small steps

I slept well last night. We rented "Meet the Morgans" from Red Box and even tho we saw it before (and it was severly panned by the movie critics), Mark and I both laughed at several lines and I think it helped me fall asleep and stay rested. I did have a weird dream (the dictionary work for the day in "oneiric", meaning dreamlike, and I guess parts of this past week have been oneiric, tho not all in a good sense, just as not all dreams are good ones). Last night I did dream of surgery but the surgeon was a type A personality and an alcoholic who wanted not to do my foot surgery but instead some kind of gyn procedure but without an anesthetic; so I got a new doctor-in-my-dream and she was kind of like Sarah Jessica Parker's character in the movie).

Anyway, when I woke up, Mark was still sleeping, so I did relaxation breathing and visualization and my morning affirmations. I visualized warmth and light reaching throughout my body and into the cells around my ankles, comforting them and preparing those cells and tissue to be receptive to the foreign objects that will be coming into the area through surgery.

I had my second chair-shower today and almost took a tumble as I turned to sit on the chair, but the tub handle and wall were my rebalancing frames and I was okay.

In the middle of this writing (somewhere in the first paragraph), UMC called with intake for my surgery. It's real. It's going to happen. I am nervous, scared. I need to stop taking Advil (it's a blood thinner which I didn't know) and the aspirin w/Evista (I knew the aspirin was a blood thinner and was going to call the Dr's office about stopping it, but the system got in front of me and called me instead.) God, I hope this all works out okay. I read "Divine Order" a little Unity/New Thought pamphlet this morning and it talks about getting my self in alignment with Divine Order. Alignment metaphor rings true for me--ankle alignment, soul alignment. It reminds me that even though I am in a stormy period, in the midst, my Higher Power is my anchor. I have to trust that in order to have the courage and do what I have to do on Tuesday.

So, Mark and I will go out soon and I will be at Pueblo Gardens Elem. School at 1:15 to read "Princess Bride" to my 3rd and 4th graders. They will laugh, I will laugh, and for that hour, I will be whole again.