changing schedule

I realized yesterday, after falling off the edge into a rage with Mark when he came home later than I expected, that Saturdays are really hard for me. Saturdays, under normal conditions, are when we get chores and errands done, mostly together. Now, I continue to be stuck at home a lot and, since I am feeling better, and, yesterday actually had energy after a decent night's sleep, I wanted to be going, too, and I wasn't. When we finally did get out together (sort of, Mark went shopping without me while I had an iced tea), I almost began to cry, so I knew I was hitting an emotional bottom.

I convinced him to NOT get up to walk Lia this morning and I think, for the summer, we should adapt to the "slow life" on Sundays. She won't miss one day and we both sleep in, which we did today until 7:15. He was more calm and so the day began a bit differently. Also, with Aron bringing back the SUV so that Mark can walk the dog, I, immediately in the morning, have to deal with whatever mood Aron is in. He's never been a morning person, so sometimes he can be in a really dark place and I don't need that seven days a week. A Sunday schedule change seems best for the three of us right now and Lia will just have to adjust.

Another change is that Mark and I are heading to the neighborhood pool around 5:45-6:15p.m. or so and that helps with our physical therapy and we also seem to have a different kind of conversation as we relax in the cool water after a hot day. I hope that I can get myself in and out of the pool by myself before he leaves on his trip, but we'll see how that goes after I add on another 25 lbs Mon-Wed, and another 25 lbs (up to 75 lbs), Thursday-Saturday. By the time he returns, I hope to be up to my body weight (around 125) and letting go of the walker. That will be scary, I know, but I will get there.

As I shift into Monday, another schedule shift needs to evolve: shifting more of a focus on work in the afternoon hours so that I actually feel as if I am working. The occasional meeting has been an okay transition, but I need to move more into mental activity. Maybe, as I do that, my other brain cells for creative work will also kick in. I am thinking about a fall community college class on short stories but time will tell if that is a viable option or not.

Well, Mark's late again from his morning out-about and, today, we have a luncheon with friends to get to, so I will pretend I am okay with this morning's delay, act "as if" and pick up a duster to do my very light house chores. ta, ta.