Blogs are enticing because they are easy to do. Like my daily journal, I can open it up and just start writing. Unlike my daily journal, a blog posting can be read by others, even if I don't invite them to that particulary reading.
I fell into a black hole of my own in today's blog and hurt someone I do love. I didn't mean to hurt this person. I was trying to figure out what was wrong in our relationship. I do often imagine that my mother's dementia is congenital and that signs of it are already appearing in my life. But it could be stress or hormonal imbalance or any number of other things. I can't claim dementia in today's entry, but I was in this weird, unbalanced place after my dream about my mother which was really a nightmare.
One of the appointments I have had to keep putting off because of my injury is an appointment with a counselor that I wanted to see back in April. Back then, my issue was aging. Now, my issues are deeper and more personal. I will be able to drive soon and so that's the next step up to the bat of recovery for me.
In the meantime, I am mostly apologizing my boundarylessness on the blog. It's time for me to reassess how I use this writing and I take full responsibility for my unintentional, but still harmful, mistakes, blunders and incompetencies.
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You can delete a blog post you know if you really don't want it there. And yes, it is easy, in a moment of darkness, to write and publish things you wish you had not said, especially publicly.
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