just for today

I had a morning meeting to go to so just now getting to the blog. Actually, I might have forgotten about it except I was reading about writing and the reading reminded me to write every day and I thought, "thank goodness I set up the daily blog." And then I remembered I hadn't written yet, so here I am.

Afternoons are not my best writing time, if any time is--I want to veg out and just read, especially in the summer when siestas are so appealing. I took one after a lunch snack when I got home, just could not keep my eyes open so off I drifted, coming back to watch city council study session on t.v. They are supposed to be talking about the suspended roadway projects, or so I thought, but not yet discussed on the agenda.

As I was reading about writing the exercise was asking what part of my life do I want to write about. My eyes teared up because I really do NOT want to write up my life as part of a story, although several prompts keep telling me I should. I want to write about a story that is outside of the life and times that I am living. Except for my blog, I do not want to live in today. I want to write about women in paintings that I like. I want to explore the rooms they live in, the food they eat, the gardens they grow. I do not want to be in the NOW.

Now means I am trying to figure out how to walk again. I am "up to" 40 lbs. on my ankle with body weight but cannot figure out how to get to 50. I am leaning from my hips a bit, putting weight on the ankle from the thigh, but it's such an absurdly deliberate movement. Surely, walking isn't this hard? Maybe it is, though. Maybe I am like the long-armed ape, hanging from a tree, trying to figure out what the heck am I supposed to do when I stand up from four legs to two? I am trying to figure out how to walk from one leg plus a walker to just two legs, so I guess geometry, physics and some other elements of the psyche are necessary to take these steps again.

See why the NOW isn't that fun? Who wants to figure out how to walk along a cement floor when waltzing in a ballroom is so appealing? And yet, I don't write about that either. I have my daily haiku and the blog which kind of sounds dreary today, even to me. Oh, well, it's just for today, I hope.