in the swim?

Today I get to try my feet again in the pool! I am meeting with the Y Aquatics Director for 30 mins and he will help me navigate my way in and out and determine what it is I can and can't do at this point. Dr. C says I can begin to walk on it and I am discovering, every day, what it feels like to very slowly have a numb/sleeping ankle wake up, one nerve or muscle or ligament (I have no idea) at a time. It means it hurts.

I remember that after my disc injury, as my numb leg recovered, there was the tingling feeling and then the aches and pains. That is how the nerves wake up, I was told. So I am applying that awareness to this recovery as well.

I may try to switch a bit from the walker to crutches, too, because my wrists and palms of my hands are getting mighty sore. I have a good friend coming over who is also a nurse in rehab for one of the local hospitals and I am going to enlist her in helping me try out the crutches again. I think it would be good to have two tools in my assistance repertoire.

I met with a couple of women yesterday about a potential work/dialogue project and it took a lot out of me to be intellectually and emotionally engaged. And, I noticed, I was engaged differently: I listened more intently and spoke less. I also, initially, had a hard time getting my brain to work. I fret a bit that my mother's dementia is already kicking in for me. But then I think that my brain is another muscle that needs to be exercised more, but gradually.

No billable work is pressing right now so I am open to other possibilities. I am also gradually reengaging with my creative writing. Oh, I have done my daily haiku throughout this past four weeks plus, but I haven't lifted a finger for a short story. But I am thinking about it, and reading about fiction, so I am edging my way to the doing stage.

That seems to be the metaphor for the day: edging myself into the waters, first a cautious foot into the pool, then a gentle drop of the body and into a float, buoyancy, act of faith before putting the plum-colored foot on the floor.