Nurturing on Mother's Day

It's Mother's Day and the first one since my mom died in August. But life doesn't want me to dwell too much on that reality because, before 10 a.m. today, my dad (91 years) called and his ulcer is bleeding again. So, thankfully because he lives in a retirement care facility, the nurse on duty is arranging transport for him to go to St. Jo's nearby. I can't rush out there as I would with two good ankles and my sister won't, so in a couple of hours I will check with St. Jo's to find out his status and, probably, by early evening we will head to the east side and either check on him at the hospital or back at Cascades.

So, back to me and my recovery--learning to set boundaries about stuff like what I just wrote, accept and let go. Learning to be clear with my sister and say "you may have to step up. I read some 12 step literature and "just for today" I can accept what happens and let go. I don't have to try to do it all differently forever; just for today.

We are learning how to find food resources that prepare meals you can bring home. We will check out a housecleaning service because some of this is just too much for Mark to take care of and we have a small house! Mark talked with a dog sitter to walk Lia while he is out of town to Phx later this month and back East in June. Even if I can walk by then, walking in the natural park with coyotes and Lia is probably not a great idea, so I welcome someone else doing that task.

My son called to wish me a Happy Mom's Day before he headed to work (probably a 12 hour day) at the Arizona Inn. Mark got me a card and I picked out a flower for myself yesterday at Trader Jo's. So I am content. And on "Sunday Morning" tv show today, the nature spot was a video of a mother ground squirrel (in Arizona), chattering away to protect her baby boy squirrel: I know the feeling.

It was interesting to observe how people were so rude about my walker---it was in the way of their watermelons or something and they kind of brushed me aside with my black boot and all. As we observed up in the Foothills a couple of weeks ago, people come into the parking lot like gangbusters and don't want to slow down for someone on crutches or a walker. And, as I have observed, handicap parking is not always closest to the entryways; also, sometimes there is a ramp but no handicap parking and, even when there are other spaces, people will park right next to the ramp. I think I am going to look into a way to volunteer/contribute to our local NPO that focuses on ADA issues (and talk to a contact in the City's Dept. of Transportation), to see if what I am observing, dealing with, learning about can become a basis of improving mobility and access for others.

Besides, now, the need to check on dad later (more "mothering" but with the relief of knowing he has a "higher power" in the hospital staff), I have several new plants to pot and so I will move some dirt around and feel the nurturing spirit stir.